No time, energy, money, and intimacy – these are just some of the elements that are lost or taken for granted the moment a child is born. While it’s a child’s presence that makes a family grow strong, it’s also a cause for disagreement.
Do you just wake up and realize that a lot of things happened and changed the moment your baby was born? Little things like not making the bed, burping after meals, leaving crumbs on the couch, failing to do the laundry, even laughing out loud, these small factors sometimes become so magnified that calling your partner out for these habits can escalate into full-blown arguments. These are quite typical occurrences especially if you’re the one who’s always left inside the house to nurse the baby and do the chores.
Deciding to have a baby after months or years of marriage is a big leap for couples that, if they are not prepared or educated enough for future possibilities and conflicts, will create a huge rift in their relationship.
Woes And Solutions
Having a baby is a beautiful addition to married life; therefore to thoroughly enjoy the merits of being married to the one you love and having a baby, here are some of the difficulties that you can expect once your child is born and the possible solutions.
- Equality In Doing Chores
Both of you are in it for the long run, that would include dividing chores and responsibilities inside the house. Just because one is bringing home the bacon, doesn’t mean the other is just slacking on house duties all day. Couples have to recognize that having a baby is like having a job – both requires undivided time and attention. Therefore, as loathsome as it may seem, household chores must be equally divided between couples. The best way to resolve who’s going to work on what is to post a “To Do” list to settle and manage responsibilities inside the house once and for all. No buts, no ifs, just do what you’re supposed to do.
“It is important to lay out the tasks that must be taken care of, and decide who will handle what. Sure, there will be times in which responsibilities may change or get redistributed, but having a clear framework from the start is beneficial,” writes Marisa T. Cohen, Ph.D., CPLC
- Intimacy Moments
Just because there’s a baby involved, doesn’t mean that you can’t set aside a specific portion of your time to get the romance going. Although sometimes, when life and obligations get in the way, the least that you can do is to have a healthy conversation to be updated on each other’s day while the night drifts away. You can also go on day trips together with the baby, or you can hire a sitter or leave the baby with the grandparents so that you can have some alone time together.
- Styles Of Parenting
Eventually, there will be disagreements regarding the style of parenting. A clash of opinions and beliefs on how to raise or nurture a child is a common parental issue that’s experienced by most parents. Styles may heavily rely on how the parents were raised by their parents that are usually based on traditions, cultures, philosophies, and religion. To manage ordeals in parenting style, couples must first talk about what their strategies are for taking care of their baby, and which is more favorable and agreeable for both sides.
“It’s not just the activity that matters, but whether two people are able to bond while interacting with one another,” writes Preston Ni, M.S.B.A.
Money is the root of the majority of couple’s arguments and having a baby is undoubtedly a costly milestone in a couple’s life; which is why it is for the relationship’s welfare that married couples prepare for the never-ending expenses the moment the baby comes out. Only then will parents be more focused on taking care of their baby and not be occupied by the constant bickering related to financial setbacks.
“Be realistic about what you can afford,” write Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera, Ph.D.
Parenthood is a rewarding turning point in any relationship; therefore, couples must treat it like they would treat a business deal which requires optimum planning and conditioning. It is easier for married couples to deal with parenting disputes if they are primarily aware of the circumstances that may occur in the future.