Family Therapy – Are You An Abusive Parent?

Sometimes, whether you pay too much attention to your family relationship, you will still never notice the problems right in front of you. Often, you ignore or disregard the abuse in the family because you somehow believe it is all part of the dynamics inside the house. And when you are the parent, you never wish to become wrong. Not once, not at all.

All children do not want to think of their parents as abusive individuals. These kids only want happy, loving, and caring parents that will support their mental and emotional growth. However, the reality is sad because many parents are abusive. Kids struggle with familial abuse, and most children do not know what abuse is.

If given an opportunity to question yourself, are you one of those parents who treat your kids the way you shouldn’t have to? Here are some of the few signs that might help to give an answer.


You Are Physically Violent Towards The Children

As a parent, you might think you have the right to lay a hand on your children just because you know you are right, or at least you believe it is your proper way of disciplining your young ones. But honestly, you are not teaching your kids anything by physically harming them all the time. When you constantly use any physical violence, whether pinching, hitting, slapping, or kicking, there is no doubt you are an abusive parent. There is no excuse or reason to justify the physical maltreatment you do to your children. If you hit your kids, you are guilty of assaulting them regardless of their severity.

You Constantly Abuse The Kids Verbally

Often, verbal abuse can be considered part of the disciplining process. You can use it as often as you want because it can be very tricky to identify its presence. Your kids won’t probably notice you are verbally abusing them because they will never think of it that way. However, those acts of personal attack, wounding comments, and below-the-belt criticisms are undoubtedly part of verbal abuse. You might not seem to care enough to slow down and choose your words correctly because you think it won’t matter, but I suppose you might be wrong. Every hurtful word you spit out can cause kids’ emotional malfunction. It can ruin your children’s confidence and self-esteem.

 You Make Children Compete For Attention And Love

Understandably, there are things you need to focus on when you are a parent. Sometimes, taking care of the children can be too much for you. But if you are one of those parents who make their kids earn the love and affection they deserve to have, then you are no doubt abusive. Treating love and affection as a tool to get what you want from your kids is mentally and emotionally damaging. You do not manipulate your kids like that. A healthy parent-child relationship does not engage in unhealthy competition inside the house that wins parental affection and approval. As a parent, you know better.


You Get Excessively Angry Over Small Things

Being a parent is not easy; most of the time, it can be very stressful. There are a lot of things you have to juggle all at once. Sometimes, you are not that capable of doing that. But if you notice that you frequently raise your voice towards your children, even for small reasons that upset you, you might be an abusive parent. Understand that excessive anger is one of the common signs of familial abuse, particularly emotional. The reason for this is simple. You tend to lose control, and you lash out in the midst of anger. Unfortunately, the ones that can’t understand you at the moment and can get close to you are your children. They suffer from your outburst.

You Neglect Your Responsibility Towards Your Kids

Of course, as a parent, you need to have time for yourself. It would be best if you also took things off your head to focus on another task and responsibility. However, when you find yourself constantly ignoring your children and showing little interest in them, then you are abusive. It just means you do not want to be responsible for your kids’ overall well-being because you simply do not care about them. If you only notice your kids whenever they ruin your mood or cause trouble, then you might not be doing the best of understanding your role as a parent. You can confirm your abusive behavior when you often choose to be distant and oblivious.


You Threatened The Well-Being Of Your Children

Your role as a parent is to help your kids develop their mental, physical, and emotional well-being. But when you are the one causing a disruption to their overall wellness, then consider yourself abusive. Threats of any kind are unacceptable, especially when handling kids. It takes a lot of effort to control your thoughts, actions, words, and behavior. These particular things should not harm the children at any cost. As a parent, you know that your kids should feel safe and comfortable inside your house. It would help if you did not teach the children to be afraid of their family and not encourage them to limit their chances of escape from significant painful situations.


If these signs are present in your family, try to seek professional advice. Talk to someone about it and help your family and children to have a better life. Do not be an abusive parent. And if you are, STOP!