Reigniting The Joys Of Marriage While Being A Parent

How do couples rekindle their marriage that is slowly collapsing due to magnanimous responsibilities brought about by parenting?

“Kids whose parents’ relationship has cooled are more likely to have behavioral or academic problems than kids of happy couples,” shares Philip Cowan, PhD, a professor at the University of California, Berkeley, who studied families for decades.

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Taken For Granted

On top of the 40-day work week, commitments with other people, bills to pay, and responsibilities to carry out as adults, couples also have that one particular job that they are tied to for the rest of their lives – being parents. Parenthood is a 24/7 obligation that couples can’t just set aside, which is why a lot of marriages suffer and deteriorate.

 

Keeping The Fire Alive

Through the dramatic changes in their relationship, couples must find a way to reignite their flailing marriage that’s primarily caused by life’s daily stressors. Couples must remember that marriage is the essential foundation that maintains a stable family structure. Weakening marriage bonds will create discord within the unit; for this reason, couples should not disregard their relationship for the sake of a peaceful, happy, and satisfied family.

 

How does one keep the fire of marriage burning?

 

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  1. Stop Focusing On The Negatives

“Most couples hope to keep the fires of romance burning forever,” notes Tina B. Tessina, PhD, author of How To Be Happy Partners. She adds, “The antidote is having well-established guidelines for spending intimate time together.”

When people are stressed out, it’s not hard to find fault in everything, no matter how trivial the subject is. Instead of focusing on the smallest details that trigger you about each other, try to divert your thoughts on what made you love your partner in the first place.

 

Aim your attention at the fine qualities that the both of you have which made you love each other in the first place. Practice overlooking the bad in one another. It’s stressful enough to deal with the inconveniences of life; therefore, making a habit of ignoring what you hate about your partner and just finding positive things that can lighten up the day is more beneficial to your dwindling connection.

 

  1. Commit To A Time-Off

One can’t deny the weight that parenting can contribute to a marriage. The hardships and struggles are what make families stronger. But just because you have devoted your life to being parents that do not mean that you would forget your commitment to your partner. To maintain a healthy marriage, couples must always set aside time to focus on their relationship. For example, they can take time off and go on a trip together without bringing their children, or you can go on a dinner date in a fancy restaurant. Take a breather. A quick getaway is significantly beneficial to revive romance or patch up any conflicts.

 

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  1. Generously Compliment Each Other

A little compliment won’t hurt. In fact, praises can quickly brighten up someone’s day and if that someone is your better-half, might as well muster a couple of compliments before the both of you start your day. In a world that’s filled with ignored kindness, it’s nice to know that the one you love notices the goodness in you.

 

Giving out compliments is not difficult; you can tell your spouse how the prepared breakfast was excellent, or how beautiful his or her features are. Compliments are such a powerful tool to remind your partner that they matter and that you notice their presence and importance.

“If you say, ‘the landscaping you did looks great and makes me feel really at peace in our home,’ your partner will have a completely different reaction than if you just say that you like the landscaping work,” discusses Joshua Klapow, PhD, a licensed clinical psychologist in Birmingham, Alabama. “Sharing the emotion behind the compliment adds a more intense personal connection.”

The secret to keeping the bond alive is always to be there – talking and listening. If you wanted to maintain a steady and secure relationship, you’d do what it takes to make the necessary adjustments and actions that are required from you as a partner. Yes, parenting is hard. But it can be much easier if you have an established marriage instead of a broken one.