A lot of parents have a variety of methods regarding their parenting style. All of which differ from one child to another. However, in most cases, some parents somehow agree on some of the things that they don’t want their children to know. Let’s try to check out that stuff and understand why some parents consider it a taboo for kids.
Relationship And Divorce Issues
Most parents are incapable of telling their kids about the marital situation. It is either they want to keep it a secret or want their kids to figure it out on their own. They somehow try to avoid too many personal questions. Sometimes, the thought of confrontation scares them. The avoidance becomes enough to divert the current issue into something that’s not of a big of a deal. In some events, parents leave their kids hanging and uninformed about the things concerning their family relationship.
However, “[c]hildren & teens look to you to help them understand what is going on,” wrote Robert Taibbi, LCSW. “That said, this is a change over which children have no control, over which they have little, at best, understanding about the why and what of this change in their lives. As parents we want the best for our children and sometimes that means we need to create the best for ourselves.”
As much as possible, parents don’t want their kids to tackle sex at an early stage. Sometimes, they even leave them alone and let them understand it in secret. Since it is all about intimacy in all forms of sexual affirmations, parents avoid getting questioned about it. They feel embarrassed and too uncomfortable to share experience and knowledge. In some instances, when a child asks about where kids are from, they answer in a complete metaphoric statement. It becomes fair enough not to directly tell the child that babies are the result of two individuals who have unprotected sexual intercourse.
Kids are naturally curious about a lot of things. And when they start to ask something, they would certainly want an answer. Though some same-sex couples easily find it comfortable telling their kids about the situation, it differs on others. Parents, who have opposite gender, tend to avoid discussing gay marriage to their children. They seem too afraid to talk about it. They believe that if they do, they will imprint an idea on their kids’ heads.
Nonetheless, Fred Kaeser EdD, said, “My belief is it is never too late to begin your conversations with your child. But it can certainly be far better to start early. I advise parents that the age of 5 is a wonderful time to lay a foundation for what homosexuality is and to instill in your young child a sense of tolerance and acceptance for being lesbian or gay.”
Bereavement From Losing Someone
Though others may think that grief is okay, for some parents, death is not a good topic to be discussed in front of children. They believe that talking about it induces fear and worries on the kids’ younger minds. Although the idea of death is something universal, parents don’t want them to suffer an emotional and mental breakdown at an early stage. That is quite an acceptable reason because the topic of death itself will affect their overall function. Parents try to avoid children to force themselves to understand the things that they are not supposed to know at that particular moment.
When talking about death, Deborah Serani, PsyD, said, “Share information in doses. Gauge what your child can handle by giving information in small bits at a time. You’ll know what more to do based on the questions your child asks.”
It’s understandable that parents only want what’s best for their kids. However, it doesn’t mean that some of these topics should have to be avoided. Though some of these are scary, parents need to find the right words that can best describe the situation. They may talk about it too soon or somehow they might not. Nonetheless, the essential things are the pieces of information children can learn from these topics.