The parents at my daughter’s school often get encouraged by the teachers to take part in their extracurricular activities. Whenever we go there, we would bring home-baked goodies, pasta, and other foods that they may like. I get to interact with a lot of moms and dads and kids as well, so I feel secure about who my baby interacts with daily.
I must say, most of the kids are well-behaved. Some boys are a bit unruly, but it is understandable for young kids. If there’s anyone who’s most peculiar, it’s probably Sam, a little girl whom I heard my daughter and her other classmates complaining about.
From what I have observed, Sam is not the type to play with her peers at the playground. When she does, she always wants to be the center of attention. Otherwise, the girl would pout or cry loudly or take others’ things by force.
When the teacher did not know how to handle her behavior anymore, she called in Sam’s parents. However, only her father came. As it turned out, the little girl is a product of a broken home. To compensate for the divorce, her parents decided to give her anything she wants, even if it no longer makes sense. That’s why it resulted in the child becoming spoiled.
“A spoiled person is unhappy. He feels frustrated, even cheated, if he or she is not allowed to indulge his or her wishes immediately,” writes Fredric Neuman, M.D.
There was an event at school when Sam’s father talked to the teacher, so we could not help but see how he reacted while listening about his daughter’s behavior. He was shocked, yes, but it was also evident that he understood what the problem was. The man left the school that day with his head down and his arms on either side of his body.
I am lucky for having a thoughtful child, but what can you do when you realize how spoiled your child has become?
Stop Buying Everything They Ask For
The first thing you must do is to stop splurging on whatever your kid wants. Not everything will be handed to them in a golden platter in the future. If you continue doing that, they will not know that that’s not how life works.
“Perhaps the most basic value about money that children can learn is that it should not define them. Instead, who one is, how one behaves, and how one treats others, rather than, for example, what one drives or wears, should determine their value as people,” writes Jim Taylor, Ph.D.
Give Them Responsibilities
It is also advisable to give chores to children as soon as they can hold a mop. You can start by asking them to fix their bed every morning. Then, you may ask them to organize their books and toys. Over time, they can help you set the table or sweep the floor.
“Being a part of the ongoing work of running a household helps children develop an awareness of the needs of others, while at the same time contributing to their own emotional well being,” writes Dan Mager, MSW.
Teach Important Values
Spoiled kids carry an idealistic belief that they can get anything they want. Thus, it makes them selfish, entitled, and too proud of themselves. To avoid that, you need to teach them good and bad traits so that they can treat people well.
Raising children with someone you no longer love can undoubtedly be challenging. You have to see your ex to co-parent your kids. You want to make sure that the little ones will not feel incomplete because of the divorce. However, it should not be an excuse to spoil your children to the max.
Find the balance between making kids feel loved and giving them the best things in life. Good luck!