Anger Management For Parents
What to do when children show anger? Are we contributing to positive behavior, or are we showing love and care with the wrong management?
Advising Expectant Folks – Your Kids Are Not Perfect!
New expectant dads and moms tend to believe that their unborn son or daughter will grow up as the closest thing to perfection.
He or she won’t show strong emotions and respond thoughtfully when hungry or upset. Potty training and teaching life lessons won’t make them feel frustrated. Other kids will flock around him or her too because of their calm, fun, and helpful behavior.
The reality that no one can ever be “perfect” only sets in once the child comes into the world, and many parents understand how you can’t talk calmly to feisty and temperamental kids. They can shed big, fat tears if their parents don’t give them what they’re asking for instantly. The child’s behavior may worsen and show angry response during mealtime when dad or mom serves food they don’t want to try.
Tantrums – Our Children’s Worst
Worse, young children never pick a time or place to lose patience; that’s why folks might often feel angry and see themselves struggling to manage parental anger towards an upset kid at a shop, restaurant, or playground. Meri Wallace, LCSW, defines expressing anger as “your child’s form of protest. Whenever you interfere with her desire to have something, do something or go where she wants to go, she gets mad.”
Handling The Situation
While it is understandably frustrating to hold back parental anger in this kind of frustrating situation often, we can’t keep the child physically detained in the house. When raising children, parent should let them have physical activity to build connections outside and learn from others too. Hence, they need to use a few anger management counseling tricks for parents to pacify temperamental kids in public.
A mental health session does help in so many constructive ways to stay calm for positive parenting.
Anger Management Tricks For Parents
- Don’t Ignore How They Feel – Anger Is A Valid Emotion Even For A Child
This is further stressed in treatments for frustrated moms and dads.
Kids start feeling angry when they sense that a parent is only half-listening to what they say. In their mind, the deal was, “Ah, you’re ignoring me because I’m a child? I’ll show you how childish I can be.” “Sometimes kids [show physical violence] because they feel that’s the only way they’ll be heard by parent. Try to step in earlier as a parent—when frustration begins but before misbehavior occurs.” Eileen Kennedy-Moore Ph.D. explains. That is usually when the emotional pain gets bigger, and even when parents try to offer what they initially want, they’ll push it away since they feel angry.
The trick for managing anger in kids is to validate their emotions immediately. Parents should never use verbal abuse or assume that kids are overreacting and just feeling angry since they might have underlying emotions about something. In case parenting doesn’t agree with their dilemma, parents may still provide validation when they talk about feelings and teach control.
2. Move To A Quiet Space
Parents shouldn’t expect a frustrated kid who has a tough time managing anger to respond when asked what angered him or her at that moment. No, when raising children, parents have to control patience and stay positive until they no longer feel angry.
What may speed up this anger management process is carrying or pulling your child away from the scene and bringing him or her to a quiet spot. “Move your child to a more private place,” says Laura Markham Ph.D. She adds “Maybe you can go to your car, or to an out of the way spot at the mall where you won’t be disturbing other people. Just as important, you won’t be tempted to parent as onlookers think you should, so you can follow your own parenting instincts.” E.g., a room on the far end of the building, the bathroom, or even inside the car. It effectively shields the angry body from conflict the thing that triggered his or her negative thoughts. Furthermore, he or she won’t be too shy to start talking about the real reason he/she couldn’t handle anger as there’s no one else around to make them feel stressed.
- Choose Your Battles
Finally, if no amount of speak can help children solve problems or stay sane, research shows parents should be a good example and leave the place. Parents have to accept that there are hurtful things involving children that you can’t always win. Sometimes they’ll listen and talk to their parents, but they still feel angry other times and do not see its negative effects in life.
The thing is, children feel angry for a bit — emotions will subside after a while if you let children be. Then, you may return to the public area once your child can control their temper and emotions.
Doing all the anger management counseling tricks mentioned above is beneficial not just for you, but for your temperamental kid as well. Imagine, you can understand their feelings and emotions. In return, he or she will lose temper and talk since they know you – a parent – consider their frustration as real, and not some child’s play.
There will be a day when they’ll take deep breaths and manage their angry moment themselves. Until then, however, continue talking and stick to a helpful parenting routine whenever your son or daughter lose good behavior.
Good luck on parenting!
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